Permission to Pivot.
As a Transformational Life Coach, it is my passion to bring people into a life that works for them, in a way designed by them, filled with hobbies and interests intriguing to them, and with permission to pivot. Permission to let go of a version of themselves that once worked, but no longer feels in alignment with who they are today.
We get used to the safety of our routine, the predictability of our days, the ease in our comfort zones, and staying…just the way we are right now. Often times we stay just as we are, even if we are burnt out, overwhelmed, dysregulated, and numb.
This is when its time to give yourself permission to pivot.
Permission to start making change, permission to start having and holding boundaries, permission to not say yes, when you really mean no. Permission to actually let go of all that no longer serves you.
When I became a mother, everything I had known, the routines I had created, and my habits did not fit into this new life of being a mom. I was lost. I had no idea what a morning routine looked like, when it started at 5 AM, a baby blow out, and another person at the mercy of my body for survival. I stepped into the auto-pilot of living life the way I had been shown by other people in my life, demonstrated on tv, and in a way deemed as a societal norm, paving the way for me. A life that worked for them, not me.
In stressful moments I would usually call up my girlfriends, grab a bottle of wine, eat deep fried food, and gossip about what is going wrong in everyone else’s life, vs. actually taking a moment of deep reflection and make efforts to create conscious change for myself, and come up with solutions to my own problems. It was a habit I had seen exampled to me in tv shows, normalized by society, and I’m sure a coping mechanism in generations before me.
See, there it is, the auto-pilot. The conditioning to live a life that has worked for someone else, but not necessarily me. This is what we do when we are in survival, we fall into auto-pilot because it takes too much energy to make conscious change, to try new things, and think in a different way.
And this is where I gave myself – permission to pivot. I couldn’t go back to the old version of me, but I had not yet ever known the knew version of me, and I didn’t want to step into the auto-pilot of living someone else’s life. Especially with a new baby, and covid stopping me from reaching for my old coping tools.
How many of you can look at your life today, and see the repeated patterns to your childhood – from how you eat? The way you communicate to a partner? The way you cope with your feelings? How you work out? Your social circles? These auto-pilots are all around us. And in stressful moments, or moments of big change (welcoming a baby for one!), we will fall into the auto-pilot of someone else’s life. And this is where it is important to give yourself permission to pivot. Permission to try new things, consciously take small steps towards doing things your way, so that when you fall into auto-pilot, it’s yours. You fall into the way you do life, and you can look at your life and actually know who you are. You meet your interests, you know what you like to do for fun, you can hear your own thoughts, and have your own beliefs and opinions.
When I was meeting myself, as the new version or me; I needed to develop new healthy habits, new routines, designed for me, by me. I gave myself permission to disappoint people. I gave myself permission to ditch the wine, unhealthy foods, and gossip. I gave myself permission to show the world a new version of me. I gave myself permission to feel everything coming up, in the slow down. The immense joy of this new version of me, this new life; but also the immense grief of letting go of the version of myself so many people loved, grieving the care-free version of me, and the sadness of who I thought I had to be, in order to be loved, accepted, and safe in relationships. In my permission to pivot, I gave myself permission to be me.
Through small conscious habits, I began to listen to my body to see what she needed from me, not what I needed from her. I used to need her to be skinny, to be full of energy, to stay up late, and to always have a smile on her face. When in reality, what she needed from me was to eat protein rich foods, to take care of my gut, to sleep, to rest, to surround myself with safe-for-me people, to trust my intuition and to love.
Through conscious habits I began to create routines and habitsthat support my interests and hobbies, I began to watch the tv shows I enjoyed, and workout in a way that I find fun and enjoyable. I began to eat healthier foods that serve my body and hormonal health. I learnt that I like early mornings, over late nights. I discovered that I am most definitely a home-body. I really started to prioritize my health and wellness. I started to love me, authentically. And no longer lived a life that worked for somebody else, or gave into social conditioning. I gave myself permission to change.
Vanessa Lamont
IG: @belleamehealing
Email: vanessa@belleamehealing.com
Comments